Carbon Copy

Superman

I would fall in love with Clark Kent over Superman any day.

Wednesdays

I'm feeling a little blue today. Can't put my finger on why. I just wish I could figure out what i really want in life. Doesn't seem like it should be that hard.

Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows

I probably took too many photos at the Smith Museum of Stained Glass, but I couldn't help it. They were just so pretty. (Sometimes you can see my camera in the reflection.)

(This is what God's foot looks like):

Chicago in June

I met up with some friends in Chicago on Saturday. It was my first time driving up there by myself, and I have to admit, I felt pretty cool throwing the change into the toll booths like an expert. While I'm admitting to things, I will confess that I feel strangely attracted to Gary, Indiana. I know, I know... you should never stop in "Scary" Gary (especially alone). That's why I had to take these pictures from the car. There's just something about factories that fascinate me.

And I love the idea of taking a train everyday.

Here's Chicago from the freeway.

One more toll to pay before reaching the city.

Aww... here it is.

Right about here, I realized that I didn't have directions to the hotel my friends were staying in. Uh oh. I tried calling, but no one answered. I guess it was pretty early in the morning. Luckily, I knew that the hotel was over by O'Hare, so I just kept driving until I saw signs for the airport. I don't know how this happened, but somehow I detoured through China Town.

I kept looking for signs for the airport, but didn't see any, and I was worried. So I called Cristen, and she kindly gave me excellent directions. Also, now this is awesome, I just happened to have the phone number for the Comfort Inn programmed into my cell phone because I had planned on calling them and asking about parking and such. So I called the front desk and got directions from them to the hotel. Meanwhile, I was still trying to get a hold of Kylie, but still no luck. When I got there, I asked the front desk to ring their room, but apparently there was no one by that name registered. I was completely perplexed because I had seen their rental car out front. I decided to wait on the lawn by the car because they had to leave eventually.

After a couple minutes, a patrol car drove by, and I was worried that the lady at the front desk thought I was a stalker or something, so I decided to get some breakfast at BK. On my way back, I finally got a call from Kylie. Just as I had suspected, her phone was on silent.

After lunch, we headed for the city.

I've been to Chicago a couple times now, but I still have no idea what to do in Chicago. So I told Kylie she should ask Maria and Chris what we can do in Chicago, and I was pleased to find that they suggested many of the same things I have always done. We parked near Michigan and went to Millennium Park. You may remember this from when Mike, Amanda, and I went there. Well, now it was summer and hot and the fountains were working. Tourists and children abounded.

And there was a marching band! If Tim Burton ever uses a marching band in one of his movies, it will be this one.

And then pictures at the shining orb/bean/cloud/whatever. (One couple even took wedding pictures here! Then again, we saw another pair of newlyweds taking a photo by an ugly moose statue, so there's that.)

I liked the way all the umbrellas looked at the cafe on the lower pavillion.

After enjoying our reflections, we walked to Navy Pier. I liked this:

and the details...

And the blobbies liked it, too.

There were pirates at the pier driving about recklessly and shouting, "Ahoy!" At first I was disappointed because I only got a picture as they drove past, but I didn't need to worry because we saw them many, many times.

Here's me with the sun in my eyes.

And some of the fun activities available at Navy Pier.

It was rather a long walk, so we rested on the bench and shared some refreshingly citrus Italian ice.

And enjoyed the view. (This isn't really the view until you look out past all of the banners and ships and such.)

The Cirque Shanghai was accomplishing acrobatical feats in the amphitheater at the pier, but you had to pay to get in. Some kids got around this, though, but peeking through the bushes.

There were some beautiful flowers there.

We wandered through the stained glass museum (but that will be another entry). Then we walked back to Michigan St. and ate dinner at Giordano's. There were some talks at the conference that my friends were attending that they wanted to see that night, and I still had quite a drive back to Lafayette, so I didn't stay too long. I took a different route home. It was a business loop, and I don't think I'll ever take it again. It wasn't traffic or length or anything. It was just that I couldn't see the city at all. It was swallowed up in the fog of suburbia. Amazing how it can be that close, but completely invisible. I hit construction on my way out of town, though. It actually was quite fortunate because it meant I could watch as my odometer turned to 123000. Let me tell you, with the rate traffic was moving, it took a half an hour.

August 31, 1996

I've kept a journal since fourth grade. I started off with one of those locked ones, and I would write about my cabbage patch kids. I would measure them to see if they grew. Sadly, they never did. I have a whole box somewhere in my mom's basement with my journals. I wish I could find it. For some reason, I have one of my old journals here with me. It's from my senior year of high school through most of my first semester of college. I was reading it last night and came across this great story.

First a little background. My two brothers and I had driven to Montana for Labor Day weekend to visit our grandparents. My parents were flying in the next day, but for the first night, it was just us. That meant awkward conversation with grandparents we rarely saw. Unless, of course, we weren't hanging out at the house. So we left. We hung out at Subway instead.

Here's the story, transcribed faithfully from my journal.

Last night we went to Subway to eat dinner. There was this boy there. He came in, climbed over the counter, got a mint, and offered it to Matt. Then he wandered over and got a newspaper and told us about how two kids fell asleep in a boat. He asked the girl how much a cookie was. When she said 40 cents, he said, "not bad." Then Matt started up a conversation with him. I don't remember exactly what about. We sat down and he leaned over the half wall that divided us. He told Matt he lived behind in the hotel. He told us about how his cat had kittens and he didn't know but then he did because she had a big belly and he named them all fluffball because they were so fluffy. Then he said his parents got him a tiger. He was scared at first, but then it came up and licked his hand. Then he asked if any of us had a gun. We said no, and I asked him if he did. He said yes, a big one. Then I asked if he went hunting. Yes, and he shot a deer and it had a huge hole in it. One time he shot a cow. Matt asked if the farmer were mad and he said yes and he came after him with a gun so he turned around and shot the farmer. Then he showed us his knife and said he had it because there was a child molester somewhere raping children so he had to protect himself. Then he said he was meeting his girlfriend there any minute (it was around 10:00 and he was 9 years old). He met her and then they hung around a lot together and so he asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend and she said yes. They like to go fishing. He asked Matt if he had a girlfriend, and he said "yes, Kimber." Then he asked if I were her, and he said no this is my sister Katie and my brother Michael. Matt asked if he went to Mulldown Elementary School. He said yes. "Do you know Mrs. Olsen." The boy said that was his teacher. Matt sent her a message. Then we got up to go. He asked Matt if the chocolate milk was any good. Matt said yes and then he pointed out what he should have gotten. He asked the girl the price. She said 50 cents, and he said, "not bad." As we left, we asked his name. It was AJ. He had dishwater hair and brown eyes.

SkyMall

One of my favorite things about flying is perusing the latest edition of SkyMall. Here are some of my favorites from my trip home.

This is adorable:

And I'm seriously considering buying one of these right now for my inevitable African safari:

I would love to see someone wearing this on the plane:

These next two I think might be a little too much for the home, but who am I to say?

I really am serious, though, when I say I would love this:

p.s. This is my ghetto version of a new trend in blogging. For some better examples, see Oh Happy Day or a newcomer, The Snapdragon Blog.

Summer Rainstorms

Yesterday it rained. All day. I drove up to the Lows' house in the evening for a branch get together. I always get lost going there. Probably because I only go once every three months. I forget which road to turn on. The Lows live outside of town and up a hill. It feels a little like going into the canyon, but it's short-lived. Pretty soon you're back into a small housing development. But when I was lost, I was driving all sorts of different roads that curved and climbed and were surrounded by tall, leafy trees. The rain made everything beautiful. Sometimes you're just so happy to be lost. I stumbled across this golden field.

I wanted to get a picture of the trees on the side of the road, but sometimes it's hard to take a picture while you're driving.

I finally found my way to the Lows' house. When I left, I came out of the trees and down a hill and found a rainbow.

The great thing about this summer storm was that it was still warm and sunny out. The blue sky and clouds were reflected in the wet asphalt of the road. It was perfect.

When I got home, I decided to hang out on my front porch for a bit. The rain had forced a reprieve from the constant fireworks my neighbors have been lighting for the past week. I love the sky during a storm. I like to see the clouds move.

Travels with Me: In Search of Indiana

Lately I've been reading Steinbeck's Travels with Charley: In Search of America. I love it. It makes me want to get out and see things and talk to people. So yesterday I was bored. I have been shopping. I've cleaned. I've internetted. Now what? So I decided to take a trip. I looked at the Atlas to see where I could go. I've been south, and I've been east, but so far I hadn't been north. Plus, there looked to be a lovely little lake up near Monticello (which I have subsequently found out is pronounced with an "s," not a "ch"). I bundled up some CDs, my camera, and my book and headed out. Steinbeck took his French poodle with him, but I didn't have anyone to take along. Just myself (but I rather like it that way).

My first stop was Brookston. It's a little town that reminded me of Plains, Montana. Although, I think Plains is bigger. But the railroad ran along its edge and just as I was leaving it barrelled through with the loudest whistle I had ever heard. I remember when I first moved to Plains. I would lie in bed at night and the train would come through and shake our whole apartment. I dreamed of trains.

There was a really cute little diner/ice cream shop. I meant to go inside, but I chickened out. I'm always chickening out about stuff like that.

I parked by this building which for some reason, I just loved.

And walked along the street towards this mural. I like it when towns celebrate themselves on walls.

When I headed in the other direction, I came across the Liars Bench. I wish there had been the old patriarchs of the town sitting there, chatting about politics, the weather, corn. That's where I thought they shoud be, but they weren't. No one was there.

Maybe I should've gone into The Other Place. I bet I would've found them there, but again, chicken. Steinbeck had a dog to initiate conversation. Let me remind you, I didn't.

So I moved on from Brookston and kept towards Monticello. The closer I got, the more I saw signs like this:

I was getting excited. I pictured a sandy beach with some hot dog stands and maybe a churro or an ice cream cone. I thought I'd buy a snack and sit down on the beach with my book and do some people watching. I also planned to investigate that sweet looking boat. A nice cruise down the river would do me just fine.

My introduction to Indiana Beach was the parking lot. Teenaged boys in swim trunks lounged on/in a camero. Families gathered around coolers. The smell of grilled hamburgers wafted through the air. I turned down Of Montreal because it seemed to be drawing some stares. And then I saw this:

Apparently, Indiana Beach is an amusement park. No sandy beaches, except with an additional purchase. I decided to park anyway and take a walk across the bridge so I could get a closer look.

The rollercoaster goes right under the bridge!

They had a nice little map to guide you around the park.

For a while there I stood at the other side of the bridge and debated about going inside. It wasn't too pricey. Part of me liked the idea of meandering through a 'musement park all alone and finding some quiet corner in the noise of it all to read my book. I figured there would be hotdogs inside (and the map does promise some elephant ears and dip-n-dots). I don't know why I didn't go in. Instead, I got back in the car and went in search of some postcards at various gas stations. I couldn't find any. I drove through the town and had dinner while I read my book. The old men were gathered in the McDonald's drinking coffee, and it made me kind of sad. Sad at myself that I ended up there. Sad that the old men were there instead of on the Liars Bench. Sad that I didn't talk to anyone my whole trip. But happy that I could be out there driving around, seeing new things, listening to music and singing along.

"Perhaps we have overrated roots as a pyshcic need. Maybe the greater the urge, the deeper and more ancient is the need, the will, the hunger to be somewhere else." --- John Steinbeck

in IN

Here's what it's like to be back in Indiana. The first day there was a beautiful sunset (but it's always hard to really see them because there's no high ground:

I tried on Erica's hot new gold shoes (and could barely wobble around):

And my camera was really low on battery so the shutter didn't open completely. I think it turned out kind of cool.

It's great to see Erica again.

On Tuesday, we drove out to a little town called Camden to visit Cristen who is housesitting for the week. I forgot how flat Indiana is. But pretty.

The corn isn't quite as high as an elephant's eye yet. It's just baby corn.

Erica took these great pictures of the kitty.

Cornfields and Boilermakers

I'm back. I have mixed feelings. It's great to see friends and nice to sleep in my bed. I enjoy having a more diverse wardrobe and different options for shoes. I definitely love having my car again. But otherwise ... eh. More than "eh." More like "ugh!" Especially after I went to my first class on Tuesday. I'm not ready to be back in school. At all.

I think I'm quitting. In fact, I'm pretty positive I am, but I haven't informed any of the authorities about it yet, nor do I plan to for a while. I have an in-person interview for the byways job in Minnesota next month. If I am offered the job, I'll most likely take it. But if not, I'm packing up and moving back to the SLC for a year to work. I'll apply to some different programs in the fall and then we'll see where I am in a year. Maybe it's stupid, but it feels so right.

Oh yes, there are definitely things I'll miss, and it hurts to think about that, but...

And I keep coming back to the but.

Sometimes I think I should go on disability. My indecisiveness is crippling.

Your Attention Please

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Roo at the Zoo

Don't be alarmed. That is not a lion biting the head off an adorable little girl. It's Roo taking a sip from the classic lion drinking fountain at Hogle Zoo. Mikey and I took her there yesterday for a fun-filled afternoon. I taught her a fun song to get her excited. It goes like this:

We're going to the zoo
We're going to the zoo
We're gonna have fun cuz
We're going to the zoo

Actually, it originally went like this:

We're going to the zoo
We're going to the zoo
We better clean up cuz
We're going to the zoo

Because we had to reshelve all the books Roo and Lucy had pulled off the bookshelf and placed onto her bed. Luckily, singing songs about cleaning up and how much fun it is really works.

The first thing Roo wanted to see was the monkeys, so despite the elephant head placed over the door (see below) that's where we went.

Unfortunately, the monkeys are all behind glass, so I couldn't get any good pictures without glare and reflection, so lets move on to the elephants!

There was also a butterfly building, but it seemed crowded, so we let Roo play on the caterpillar and take a turn looking through the eyes of a fly and then we moved on.

Penguins! But they just stood around, even though there was perfectly good dead fish in the water. They were apparently uninterested. But they're still cute.

We then took the stroller on an African safari to view some zebras.

After a hot dog/corndog break, we swung by to visit a bear.

I think my favorite animal is a giraffe. I don't know why, but I just like them. I think it's their darling little horns on top of their head.

Sadly, the lions were not in view. Hogle Zoo is in the process of building a new habitat for large cats. We were sad because one of Roo's favorite games is to pretend she's a lion. To compensate, we quickly rushed over to her favorite animal/reptile, the crocodile. We also got to see some birds, like the spoonbill, along with snakes, bats, spiders, and pinned butterflies, moths, and beetles.

Our last stop was to visit the apes. While Claire had no problems with the elephant statue and was quite eager to sit on its trunk, it took a little bit of convincing to persuade her to visit this ape statue. At first, she was quite tentative.

Even when we finally got her to sit on its lap, she wasn't too happy.

Then she grew to like the ape.

And even invited Mikey to sit down with her.

She even wanted Mikey and I to sit there together and offered to take our picture. I declined.

I haven't been to Hogle Zoo in many a year. Some things had changed quite a bit (for instance, I couldn't find any of those cool wax animal makers and apparently balloons are now dangerous to animals), but I was glad to see they still had the silhouette of the ape, so you could see how you measure up.

We took a train ride before we left the zoo, too. So that was our trip to the zoo. Although my lyrics aren't the most creative, at least they have that essential element of truth.

We're gonna have fun cuz we're going to the zoo!

BFF

Kylie just sent me these pictures of us. The first one was taken yesterday. The other two are from when Kylie came to visit me once in Logan and I showed her the best part of USU - the Quad.

Review

The Danielson show last night was spectacular. Completely worth staying in town for, especially since I couldn't have seen them in Indiana. I took my camera (which I almost left on the floor of Kilby at one point), but I never did take any pictures. So, if you're interested, I'm gonna send you over to Cloud 8 for some photos and an excellent recap.

Nature

Yesterday I went for a walk around the neighborhood. I had to get out of the house for a bit. Clear my head about this job. Plus, it was a beautiful night. Still a little stormy and quite blustery but warm. I brought my camera with me because there are so many great houses in this area, but then I felt awkward taking pictures of people's houses. I didn't want them to think I was scoping out the place for a future burglary attempt. When I got back from my walk, I sprawled out on the grass outside my mom's house and just looked up at the trees. I love seeing the sky through the branches and leaves. I tried to capture it on film, but it never turns out quite right.

I love the feel of grass on my feet. I recently read "Song of Myself" for the first time all the way through. I couldn't help but think of it. I still don't know how I feel about Whitman overall, but he has some fantastic moments. These photos are in honor of him - my leaves of grass which blur into the background.

His Name Is Alive

Last night was the perfect night for His Name Is Alive. I felt a little pensive, a little anxious, a little annoyed, a little happy. The night was a little stormy with thickening dark clouds. While I had to sit through 2 opening bands that I wasn't in the mood for, at least it wasn't crowded. I got to sit around the fire pit and chat with Danny. Eventually the band went on and we moved inside. There was only about 40 or so people there, so not too crowded. I got a prime spot under the fan, so I felt chill air at my feet and in my hair. The band didn't play any of my listed songs, but I still loved what they played. We had an unsuccessful sing-along to "This World Is Not My Home." I sang (pretty softly), but no one really knew whether or not they were supposed to. Then the band passed out about 10 different tambourines. I reached out for one, and I got to play it the rest of the night. Thus, my dream of playing a tambourine in a band (a la Mazzy Star) was fulfilled. And I realized it's actually quite tiring. The only downfall was that the show was much too short for me. I could've stayed there all night.

More pictures:

Phone-view

In about 44 minutes, I have my phone interview for a real job with the National Scenic Byways Program. I feel like I should be using this time to prepare, but I don't know what to do for that. Mostly, I just feel sick to my stomach.

I can't decide whether or not I really want this job, so I'm going to make a list of pros and cons because I love making lists.

Pros:
-- steady income (making at least 3 times more than I've ever made in my life)
-- defined/concrete work environment
-- travel
-- no more school, ie hours and hours of fruitless reading, papers that get a B+, having to deal with egos and professors (which are the same thing), trying to figure out what I want to study.
-- not worrying about the future anymore, at least for a couple years
-- get a cute apartment and be able to furnish it
-- feel like a real adult and wear high heels (sometimes)
-- working for a program I feel good about

Cons (or at least worries):
-- have to leave friends and comfortable environment
-- no more school, ie those times when you actually have amazing discussions and you learn so much and it feels so great to be involved in higher education, papers you struggle over and get an A on, studying things you actually care about.
-- creating a life style and then in a couple years not being able to maintain it
-- living in Duluth where it's winter three-quarters of the year and maybe no friends and kind of far away from everything
-- work becoming a routine, having to wake up at 6:30 or 7 or whenever every morning.
-- lots and lots of meetings
-- would i regret dropping out of school?
-- and of course, what if I don't do a good job?

So that's what's been turning over and over in my mind in the short time that I've been seriously considering this job. I still feel sick.

Tonight...

I will be at Kilby listening to

And I hope they play these songs:

Blue Moon

and

Answer to Rainbow at Midnight

or even

The Waitress

Okay, so there are lots of songs I want them to play. I'm just nervous because I haven't heard their new album, so I hope they don't just stick to that. I'm prepared to call out song titles.

Internetting

I have been internetting like crazy lately. I think I'm making up for lost time. I've been bookmarking all sorts of things and brushing up on my world geography. I can totally place all the countries in Asia now. And I know their capitals. Same goes for Europe, South America, and the South Pacific (except not capitals). I'm becoming addicted. The minute I think of anything or have any question, I just automatically open up Firefox and check it out. It's gonna be hard going back home. I guess I'll just take up soap operas again.

*Love*

I'm totally in love with this song right now.

Danielson - Did I Step on Your Trumpet

More of Roo

Here's Roo on her 3rd birthday (which was last Friday).

According to Roo, this is what you do with your fortune from Panda Express:

Exciting News!

I just changed my plane ticket. I'm staying here for a whole 'nother week! This means yay for His Name Is Alive! Oh yeah, and extra time with family and friends and procrastinating going back. yay!

Here's a good reason to stay longer - Roo:

June

It's June.
Tomorrow I leave to go back to Indiana (maybe).
I'm blocked from using InterLibrary Loan until I return my books.
I feel really guilty that I still have those books.
I don't know how to return them.
Kylie's birthday present is over two weeks late.
I need a new book to read.
I miss my car.
I love having the Internet at home.
I want to see His Name Is Alive and the Rentals.
I'm applying for a real job (but unsure about it).
I think this blog needs a new look.
I think I'll go for a walk.
After I eat breakfast.
Diet Pepsi doesn't count as breakfast.