Carbon Copy

I'm a little short on Christmas cheer:

So I'm done with finals. I've gotten two A's (and possibly a third, but the jury's still out on that one). I'm going home tomorrow. I'm moving from a place where I'm constantly avoiding my roommate. Things should be looking up, right? The problem is, with every new item I pack (which I just barely, it seems, unpacked), I think "Why did I even come here?" It just seems like such a waste. Right now I feel like Purdue is not the place for me. There are no classes I want to take. No professors that take an interest in me or that I take an interest in. I hate feeling caught. I keep telling myself, only 3 more semesters and then I can go somewhere else. But even the thought of those three semesters makes me ill inside. And that nauseous feeling doubles when I think of applying somewhere else.

So why am I not happy to get away from here for 2.5 weeks? Because I know it is short-lived and the closer I get to going home, the closer I am to coming back. I always thought I was more of a half-full kind of girl, but everyday the glass becomes more and more empty.